I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
