What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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