U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
