Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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