the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
