Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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