you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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