Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Someone signed my nipple.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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