btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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