You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
