would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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