apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
