Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We are all done wearing pants today
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
