I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?"Ā¯ and "Why tacos?"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
