I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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