i'm lost and i look like a hooker
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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