Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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