I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
