i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
