Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
