Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
