oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
