Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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