I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
