apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just invented taco cereal.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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