i permit you to call me
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Found the puke drawer
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
