Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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