The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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