No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
that is very illegal...i love you.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
