I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
