people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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