I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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