if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
