he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
