Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
