she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize