I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
