none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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