i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
