Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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