what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
