Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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