i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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