You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
