whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
