Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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