Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i think im in europe. pls send help
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
