This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
