I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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