Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
