The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Hippo gnu deer
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
