I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
