That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
