He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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