the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
