He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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