hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
